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Thursday, January 21, 2010

Invisible Mom

Hi everyone. It seems like a century since I last blogged or visited any of you, even though its only been a few days or so. What I thought was going to be a two to three week endeavor to declutter and get my house in order has made itself clear to me that we are looking at a much longer process. Because hubby needed to find things more readily, I decided to begin in the kitchen and laundry room, where I have cabinets and a pantry. Today, all of the food ended up on the counters and table, while I tried to strip old contact paper - don't even think about it - from the shelves. We are also making new shelves for the pantry, because hubby had installed louvered doors, but that cost some space...you know we need every inch of space, right? Isn't it interesting how cleaning makes everything look like a cyclone had just blown through your home?

I have another cold, so I'm in slow motion to do much of anything, so as I took one of my many breaks to rest, I found this email that I had to immediately post for all of you to read. I hope you enjoy it.




INVISIBLE MOTHER

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store..

Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously, not.

No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.

I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated sum a cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going; she's going; she is
gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England.

Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling
pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.'

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe .. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'To My Dear Friend, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.

These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam; He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it..' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place.

It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.

The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'you're going to love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right; And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Great Job, MOM!


Take care, everyone...God bless you all...please join me in praying for Haiti...God must have His hand on this country, as it continues to remain, though much travesty has tried to destroy it. I believe there must be praying people living there, as God has revealed His grace many times in the face of such horror.

And remember our troops and their families...please cover them in prayer as well.

Mary

34 comments:

  1. Praying GOD will heal and restore your being and you will get things in order, soon. We miss you.
    Hugs and prayers,
    andrea

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  2. Mary,

    What a wonderful post. :-) very encouraging to all moms. Thank you for visiting the other day and your sweet comment. I cherished it.
    I am with you today. I worked on my walk-in closet which is so cluttered I wouldn't send out a picture if someone paid me. I am truly wanting a good purge and a "get organized" decluttering starting out this year...and with you....I am definitely going to get it done. With that done and everything much straighter, I'm sure I will feel lighter in spirit, knowing I have done it. When an area looks clean, I feel good! So cheers for you coming from my corner. Waiting to hear yippees when you finish your kitchen and laundry room. Keep that motivation going!
    Blessings!

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  3. I love this. I saw this on youtube and thought it was such a great message. Thanks for writing it out.

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  4. Hi

    I thought I wrote you a comment but it isn't here so I don't know what happened...soo weird. Anyway...I am soo glad you decided to take a break and share this with us. I LOVED it..and you know anyone who has ever been a mom could identify at one time or another. Me for sure. I remember thinking many different times, "Does anyone even notice a thing I do?" haha

    I am sorry to hear that you have another cold. It seems like everyone I know just keeps getting hit with one thing after another. Just a bad year for colds/flus. Hope you are feeling better soon.

    I too need to get things organized around here. My bedroom closet is completely out of control. More than half of the things in it should be gotten rid of. I think you may have inspired me to tackle that this week-end.

    I've missed you for sure Mary, and I will write you another e-mail soon. In the meantime know I am praying for you and thank you for your prayers for me. I'd admire your stength, and your determination to get things done. Take good care of yourself.

    Love and hugs,

    Debbie

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  5. This was wonderful, Mary! So glad you took a break from organizing to share that with us!

    And, I know what you are talking about with trying to de-clutter, I'm in the midst of that now too and I'm almost sorry I started! Every room in the house is a mess now as I carry boxes and bags from room to room! My dining table is covered in clutter and I feel like throwing my hands up! (And this is just from emptying two dressers in my dining room!). I really have to purge!
    But I'm going to plow through for a few more days, and then I have to stop and just do 'normal' cleaning as I'm having a Birthday party for my grandson here next weekend. And then I think I'll be taking a blogging break myself for the month of February to concentrate on the purging.

    Good luck to you and God Bless you and your family!
    Love to you,
    Eileen

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  6. Hi Mary....I have been thinking of you and wondering how you are doing with your rearranging of your house. That was a great story about the building of cathedrals...so glad you posted it! Please try and take care of yourself my friend....get some rest. I hope you feel better. Colds are not fun.~Hugs, Patti

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  7. Dear Mary, it is so good to hear from you, hugs. Yes, having a clear-out can be messy, lol, but so satisfying once it's done. Thank you for the 'invisible mom'...we all can feel that way at time :o)

    God bless you and your family.

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  8. Been thinking of you sweet Mary!
    yes it is always such a mess before it gets to the end results. Just hang in there.
    I have seen this before and shared with my daughter. Makes me think of my own dear Mama who sacrificed so much for her kids.
    Hugs,
    Lola

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  9. Great post. Sometimes getting work done in a home can be overwhelming. I decided long ago to take one room at a time and get it finished before I even start on another. Also don't even think about another room til you finish the one you are working on. My mind can go nuts sometimes thinking about all I want to do.

    Take care of that cold too and find time to relax and drink some healthy tea.

    Willow

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  10. Hope you are soon over your cold and that the organizing will go well. Thank you so much for this post - it was just what I needed to read. I've raised three children and now I'm raising two grandsons. Thanks for the reminder to focus on the importance of what I'm building and not self.

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  11. Hi Mary,

    sorry to hear you have another cold. thank you so much for taking the time to post this for us. I think all moms feel that way at one time or another. this kind of puts it in perspective. take care of yourself. :)

    Debbie

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  12. It is true how the house always looks so bad when were trying to make it better. I think it's fun to do all the kinda of stuff. I'm sorry you have another cold, maybe you started doing things to soon. Moms~it is one job that is so hard but so rewarding.
    God Bless,
    Ginger

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  13. Decluttering is a mixed blessing...and yes it does take making a mess in order to reduce the clutter..you will be so glad when it's all done though...Loved the email post as well!

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  14. Hi Mary,

    I read the Invisible Mom not too long ago as it made the rounds on the internet, but I was so happy to see it here today because I just started working with the Single Mom's community at the church I attend and thought what a great message for them to read, and to remember, that what they do is important, though often times not "seen" at the time. I have posted the link to our Facebook community page. I hope you feel better soon! Sounds like you're making progress!

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  15. Sometimes the decluttering does seem like a huge chore because you make such a mess taking everything out before you can put it away. Just take you time and it will all be done soon. Take care of your health as it is most important. Blessings Stella

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  16. Hi Mary,

    Thanks for sharing this with us. I'm sorry you are still not feeling good and I pray for an outpouring of God's healing touch over you dear sister.

    Love and hugs.

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  17. Thank you for the inspiring story.
    Maybe it is something about the age, I'm 63 and feeling the need to unclutter also. I used to wonder why my mother kept getting rid of everything, and now I'm starting to understand. My things are a pleasure and a burden, and as I get older I'm sure that the emphasis will shift more and more to burden. I hope that you feel better and are able to get your house just how it is best for you and your family.

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  18. Hello Mary darling, I just popped in to see how you are doing my dear friend, I have missed you terribly. Please hurry up and finish the decluttering… blogland is not the same without you.

    Take care luv
    Love & Hugs
    Duchess

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  19. What a great post -- thanks for sharing.

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  20. Hi Mary, I missed this post until today. Thank you so much for sharing it. It gives me a new perspective for sure! I got your email, we certainly have similar lives. So much of what you said applies to me to. I'll write when I can, my little one is still mopey from surgery and although she says she doesn't have pain, she cries all day. It takes her several days to get over it but she will be fine soon. Until then I just have a few minutes here and there.
    Hugs,
    Dawn

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  21. I really enjoyed this post. I feel this way a lot of the time too. Hope you get all of your pantry,etc.done. I have to do mine too. It is a disaster!

    Hugs,
    Lee Laurie

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  22. Hi Mary,
    Hope you get over your cold soon. I am nursing a broken rib right now so I'm spending more time than usual on the computer. Thank you for sharing that story. I have seen it before but it's always nice to read it again.
    For your interest: I have started a new little venture on Tuesdays called, "Tea Time Tuesdays and Testimonies." I would love to have you join in some time when you are able. I know how much you like your tea! Feel better soon sweet friend, and have a beautiful day.

    Blessings,
    Sandi

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  23. Hi Mary,
    Just stopping in to say hi and hope everything is okay with you and yours. Thinking of you!
    Valerie

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  24. This is a wonderful post, very meaningful.

    Love the bits about the cathedrals - I often look at these buildings, not just cathedrals, even churches, and wonder about the people who built them, and how they built them so long ago without all the technology we possess today. These buildings are nothing short of magnificent and a tribute to all who worked on them, unfortunately nameless people.

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  25. Sitka has an award for you at All Gods Creatures.

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  26. I enjoyed this post and look forward to more!

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  27. Hi Mary,
    Just wanted you to know that the Lord brings you to my mind often & I am praying for you & your husband .Happy Valentine's Day !
    Love in Christ,
    ~Myrna

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  28. My darling Mary, where are you? I miss you terribly. Please return or at least send a sign, I am concern, this is not like you.

    Darling, wishing you a lovely weekend and a love filled Valentine’s Day.

    Love & Hugs
    Duchess

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  29. For some reason I felt a need to visit you today. I'm glad I did. I am encouraged by the progress you are making in getting organized and I loved the beautiful post about mothers.Keep plugging along. Not hurried or tense--just at your pace, doing your thing! God bless.

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  30. I totally get this! Yesterday my husband said what time do we need to leave for church, I said the same time weve been leaving for the last 10 years! He informed me that I am his secretary so he doesnt have to remember details. I said I need a raise! LOL :-P

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  31. Mary, thinking of you!!

    Hugs, Barb ♥

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  32. Hi Mary,
    Clif mentioned to me that he was concerned about you. Blessings to you as you get more organized and know that I'm praying you will be feeling much better soon. Sinus problems is something I've dealt with for years. Thankfully not serious problems, just seriously annoying ones.
    Hugs,
    Charlotte

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  33. Hi Mary,
    I think a few of us are concerned about you! We miss your cheerful posts! I see Charlotte mentioned your're having sinus problems? I do hope you're feeling better soon and your de-cluttering is about finished. Have a beautiful day and know you have friends who are thinking about you.

    Blessings,
    Sandi

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  34. Hello Mary, Just a note to say hello. We miss you and hope that all is well.
    God Bless,
    Ginger

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