Thursday, January 21, 2010
Invisible Mom
I have another cold, so I'm in slow motion to do much of anything, so as I took one of my many breaks to rest, I found this email that I had to immediately post for all of you to read. I hope you enjoy it.
INVISIBLE MOTHER
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store..
Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously, not.
No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.
I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated sum a cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going; she's going; she is
gone!
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England.
Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling
pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.'
It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe .. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'To My Dear Friend, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.
These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam; He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it..' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees'
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place.
It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.
The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'you're going to love it there.'
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right; And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.
Great Job, MOM!
Take care, everyone...God bless you all...please join me in praying for Haiti...God must have His hand on this country, as it continues to remain, though much travesty has tried to destroy it. I believe there must be praying people living there, as God has revealed His grace many times in the face of such horror.
And remember our troops and their families...please cover them in prayer as well.
Mary
Monday, January 11, 2010
We're still alive!
I'm just taking a few minutes to let you know that we are doing much better, and my husband is just finishing his second round of antibiotics for pneumonia, and seems to be beating it this time. My daughter has escaped any illness...Praise God! Needless to say, I am exhausted, drained, pooped, and tired. The christmas tree is down, but everything is still up, and I have no energy to tackle it. Neighbors and friends have been wonderful about bringing food, and making sure we aren't starving...not that missing a few meals would hurt us!
I feel a very strong calling to get my house in order...since last September, when I had to go to emergency and then to urgent care two times, I've realized that I must get my head out of the sand and deal with important issues...one of which is to get a living trust and will prepared so my daughter will be provided for. I think 've lived in denial for years, but the thought occured to me, "What if I don't come home from the hospital...what will happen to my daughter?" I also need to take a serious look at all my "stuff", as my husband is having a difficult time finding things, or he's running into things, or he's breaking things. The cabinets need to be reorganized and everything has to be put in a certain place so he can find it...same thing with the refrigerator. Its easy for me to forget that he can't see like I do, and I just put things wherever there's a spot, but that doesn't work for him...I will find him standing in front of the fridge or the cupboard, searching for whatever, and I realize that it has to change...and I have to change it. I have to consider packing things up and storing them, or getting rid of them altogether. That will be difficult for me...I love my "stuff"...having pretty things around me, dishes and teacups, all those breakable things!...but they are in his way, so it will take some real creative planning to display them without having them out and in the path of destruction! Perhaps it is time to let go and feel the freedom...I'm ready for the "less is more" lifestyle...gaining freedom from the cares of the world is something that has been on my mind for a very long time!
There is a place in my heart that is not right about all this...perhaps I am on the pity-pot and a little resentful that my life isn't like that of my friends. I don't have the freedoms that most women my age have, and there are times the load seems too difficult for me to carry. BUT...I KNOW that isn't true...I am able bodied, I have sooooooo much to be grateful for...I want for nothing, and God has been so good to me, how can I complain? Yet I find that I do, and it has to stop. I have to stand back and take a hard look at my attitude and also my habits...lack of good organization can take me to the heights of irritation and depression...my daughter has a paper fettish, so I'm constantly removing papers from her grasp, and sometimes forget where I've stashed them...spending hours looking for a paper is frustrating.
Its time for some true new year's resolutions. I have to be careful not to get sidetracked and let the Tyranny of the Urgent control me. Have any of you read that marvelous little book? It is quite tiny, but is packed with important truths that can change lives. There is also a workbook, but I don't have it...perhaps its time.
Anyway, this year I will be 65, and I've decided that there is a fork in my road...I will either get healthier, both in mind and body, or I will slide into neglect and deterioration...its my choice. This takes much thought and even more prayer, because I don't have the knowledge or wisdom to get me through, but the Lord does, and my dependence is on Him. One thing I know...I must listen to the still, quiet voice of God, and immediately carry out His directions. With my family circumstances as they are, my future is truly in His hands, and that scares me, because I don't know what His plans are. I can't control any of it...I can't heal my daughter's brain or my husband's eyes, and I can't guarantee that I will outlive them...if I could outlive them, I could make sure they were taken care of...I could control it...but I can't, so my faith must be strong.
And so my blogging may be on hold for another week, or perhaps two, or maybe even three, but I do want to come back with a sense of peace and clarity, and with happy things to talk about. I will visit and post as often as I can, as I do miss all of you so very much. I want to tell you what is happening in my heart as well as sharing tea things and decorating with you. I so enjoy all of the beautiful stories and photos that you all share with me, and they lift my spirits so very much...I want to do the same for you...i want to re-do my blog background, create better photos, etc....for now, though, I'm just not there.
God bless you all...my prayers are with each and every one of you.
Mary
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
It finally hit me!
Hope your Christmas was wonderful, and that the new year brings many blessings!
Love to all,
Mary
Friday, December 25, 2009
Merry Christmas!
Love to all,
Mary
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Tea Things Tuesday at Tea
Its Tuesday, and time to join Kim for Tea Things Tuesday. Kim has run out of tea things…can you imagine?…so today is our last get together…be sure to visit Kim and the other tea lovers and see what they’ve chosen to show you…I know you’ll love everything! Just click on that little teacup to the right, and you’ll be there!
The Rose Petal Tea Society had their December tea on Saturday, and I’d like to share some photos with you. It would have been great to have all of you there, too…this is a great group of ladies, and I know you would love them, and they would love you!
In case you don’t remember, the Rose Petal Tea Society is a tea club that we started over 5 years ago. In the first year, we went to tea, or had a tea in a home, every other month. By the second year, we had decided that we wanted to meet every month…we just couldn’t wait til the next tea! There are about 18 of us, and we usually see at least 14 in attendance, so we have to find extra chairs, put tables together, etc., to fit us together, but we always have a fantastic couple of hours together. Because this is our December tea, of course, it also became our Christmas tea, so we exchanged gifts…it was great fun…we were just like those little girls of years ago, waiting in anticipation to see what we got!
Do you see this gorgeous crocheted tablecloth? If I could have fit it under my jacket, it would have been in my house today! And the Christmas plates that are clear, but with an etched design were stunning…I only wish I could have captured the detail better…they were outstanding…and vintage… so we can’t just run out and buy them!
Is this teapot beautiful, or what? It isn’t actually a Christmas teapot, but the colors lend to the season perfectly, especially sitting alongside the Christmas cactus plants, just beginning to bloom…such a pretty sight!
Notice the little Christmas village on the sideboard behind the ladies, and the framed artwork on the wall…lovely vintage items in this beautiful home! No, no, I don’t mean the girls….oh, my, no way!
Keep your grubby hands off my gift!
“Afternoon Tea”…a book full of new ideas and recipes…YUM!
This is a real teacup made into a pin cushion…adorable!
Our lovely hostesses, Kathy and Sheila…thank you for a wonderful tea!
I hope you enjoyed our tea party! I’m sorry I didn’t show you last month’s tea…it was also beautiful, but my photos didn’t turn out, so I didn’t post them. Maybe a new camera will be under my tree this year?
I also had a small tea on Friday for my Bible study friends…here a few photos of the table before they arrived.
Ever since I changed my blog background to the three column, my photos have been chopped off on the right side…any ideas on that?
I have been really much more busy than I want to be, and haven’t had time to answer emails, or visit your blogs, but I hope to be caught up enough to find an hour tonight to do so…I miss seeing everything you’re doing, or writing about…visiting my blogging friends refreshes me, and I am really missing that right now! Just know that, even if I’m not leaving a comment, you’re in my thoughts and prayers!
God bless you all…have a wonderful day!
Mary
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Spiritual Sundays~Santa Or Jesus?
Yesterday, I posted a very moving video about Santa bringing the soldiers home...if you didn't get a chance to see it yet, I hope you will today. A sweet little girl's voice sings to us, as she asks Santa to bring her daddy home. It was her heart's cry to someone in whom she believed could bring anything she asked for. No doubt, every wish on her Christmas list had been filled by her parents, but she won't know that until she's older. I thought about it...we know who the true Giver of gifts is...do we have that kind of faith in Him? Do we trust Him enough to pray for our needs? Or do we receive gifts, and somehow think that they came from someone else...like "good luck", or "fate", or "our own hard work"?
Do we treat Him like a Santa Claus, and only talk to Him when we want something?
Why Jesus is Better Than Santa Claus
Santa lives at the North Pole...
JESUS is everywhere.
Santa rides in a sleigh...
JESUS rides on the wind and walks on the water.
Santa comes but once a year...
JESUS is an ever present help.
Santa fills your stockings with goodies...
JESUS supplies all your needs.
Santa comes down your chimney uninvited...
JESUS stands at your door and knocks, and then enters your heart when invited.
You have to wait in line to see Santa...
JESUS is as close as the mention of His name.
Santa lets you sit on his lap...
JESUS lets you rest in His arms.
Santa doesn't know your name, all he can say is "Hi little boy or girl, what's your name?"...
JESUS knew our name before we were born. Not only does He know our name, He knows our address too. He knows our history and future and He even knows how many hairs are on our heads.
Santa has a belly like a bowl full of jelly...
JESUS has a heart full of love
All Santa can offer is HO HO HO...
JESUS offers health, help and hope.
Santa says "You better not cry"...
JESUS says "Cast all your cares on me for I care for you."
Santa's little helpers make toys...
JESUS makes new life, mends wounded hearts, repairs broken homes and builds mansions.
Santa may make you chuckle but...
JESUS gives you joy that is your strength.
While Santa puts gifts under your tree...
JESUS became our gift and died on a tree...the cross.
We need to put Christ back in CHRISTmas, Jesus is still the reason for the season.
"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life" (John 3:16).
~~~~~
NOTE: I posted this morning while getting ready for church and failed to copy and paste the link from which I found this...it is from http://www.thoughts-about-god.com/christmas/jesus_better.htm. A few of the first commenters thought I wrote it, and while I greatly appreciate the wonderful words of praise, I am NOT that creative! When I found it, I just copied and pasted it to my post, and had to hurry off, then all during the service, I thought about it and hoped no one would think it was me...I'm so sorry...I did not intend to deceive you into thinking that I wrote it. Whoever did write it did a wonderful job.
May your Sunday be filled with love and wonder...God bless you all!
Mary
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Then Sings My Soul Saturday for the Soldiers
Please join me as I fill my morning with song by visiting Amy for Then Sings My Soul Saturdays. I wasn't going to participate today, as I am still very busy, but I found this video and had to share with you.
We know it isn't Santa that brings them home, so please join me as I pray for our wonderful soldiers, that He will bring some home, and those that cannot come home for Christmas will feel the love of their families from far away, and that they feel the presence of God walking with them...that they are covered with a blanket of His protection as they sacrifice their comfort, and sometimes their lives, with their courage and dedication to the freedom that has been given to us by Almighty God.
May the good Lord bless each and every one of you.
Mary

